Sweater weather

I love fall. And I have bought my first sweater for the season!

flecked sweater @ urbanoutfitters

That was unexpected and good for my ego. We had all gone out for dinner and then browsed the neighbourhood UrbanOutfitters. Usually I manage to glance at the clothes and check out the furnishings and home decor and get out the door with a bit of grace (not).  Surprisingly last night, with three kids in tow, picking up jewellery, nailpolish and funny books, running rampant and tugging at my shirt to show my their sweet (and not so sweet) finds, I managed to spot a really comfortable looking sweater. I followed my gut feeling, pulled it over my head and tank top while walking towards the mirror and, WOW, it fit. And I looked OK. Before second guessing myself I purchased it. Something just for me.

I don't feel good about my body right now. I haven't for a while. I have, without explanation, gained weight, increased a few sizes and cannot shake it. Not sure if its because of my age (it happened suddenly in my early 40's) or a couple kids (I don't believe this); my eating has not really changed (or I am in denial); perhaps I am not able to walk as much as I used to (I used to walk a lot. a couple hours, everyday), but I do get exercise other ways ... I think I do???

I finally have come to terms that my younger shape that I donned for 20 years, without effort, may be in the past. Forever. (although I am still not getting rid of those 2 remaining rubber maid bins of  smaller clothes. just in case). I haven't embraced my new size yet but I do want to get a couple of good fitting fall pieces. Not so slumpy, frumpy any more.  No more tossing away adult size clothes in frustration and heading to the kids section to pick out a cute "little persons" item.

(secretly I haven't given up ... for now I have dropped that one table spoon of half & half and 1/2 teaspoon of raw sugar from my coffee and starting up yoga again).